


shameless

by sasswithclass



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Awesome Use of The Weeknd, F/M, Teen Wolf, The Weeknd, Void Stiles, Void Stydia, implied sex, mild panic attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 16:48:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7061044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasswithclass/pseuds/sasswithclass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>A dark figure moved in the corner of the cell, and Lydia froze. The fear she swallowed earlier came back up her throat and escaped in one shaky word.</em>
</p><p><em>“Stiles?”</em><br/> </p><p> </p><p>Void Stiles has taken over again, and Lydia is the only one that can save him. And she has to do it alone, in a cold room, with no light, and monster who's hungry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	shameless

**Author's Note:**

> a lil background info: Void Stiles is back and this time it’s gonna be harder to get the real Stiles back, the pack’s old tricks don’t work anymore and there seems to be no solution to keep the Void from killing people, so they did the only thing the could; lock him up. He’s now being kept in the Eichen House section where they keep all the monsters, and they’re running out of ideas.
> 
> This is basically a Void Stydia AU i dunno i got the idea when i was listening to Shameless by The Weeknd on a drive home from disneyland. I have no idea why my first thought was of kinky void sex. Oh yeah and i'm not good at writing smut so i just implied everything. Sorry.
> 
> If you like this maybe i could turn it into a series instead of leaving it at a one shot idk let me know ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

______________________________________________________________________________

_part 1: said you wanna be good but you're begging me to come over_

The silence in the room was overpowering.

The slow ticking of the clock was the only thing occupying everyone’s refusal to talk. Not so much refusal, really, more like nobody really knew what to say. Or more realistically they all were thinking the same thing but they didn’t want to be the first one to say it. They were all gathered in the animal clinic waiting for Deaton to come back after dealing with Stiles, but “dealing with” is just a really nice was of saying locking him up. But it wasn’t really Stiles, and everyone had to keep reminding themselves that. Void was back and the fact that they had to deal with this all over again was a weight heavier than the world that was now resting on everyone’s shoulders.

Lydia was leaning against the counter looking down and picking at her pink nail polish until all that was left were her scratched up nail beds. The overbearing weight of the situation was sinking in and she was trying her absolute hardest not to cry. 

_Come on, Lydia you literally survived all the bullshit this town has thrown at you you can’t break down now, She thought to herself, don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t-_

She felt her eyes well up and a single tear fall from her face and land on her hand. She quickly wiped away the remaining wetness as she didn’t want anyone to see her cry. Lydia looked up and around the room to see if anyone noticed, but everyone looked too lost in their own emotions to notice or care. 

Scott was trying his hardest to keep a brave face but Lydia could see him breaking, as the one and only Scott McCall was utterly helpless. Kira was right beside him holding his hand trying to squeeze all the hurt and worry out of him, but even she had the look on her face that worried the same thing he did. Malia was stood in the corner biting her nails in a nervous frenzy, her other hand already shredded.

As Lydia looked at everyone she noticed they all had the same look in their eyes, which she knew she had too, that all held the same burning question:

_Did we just loose Stiles for good?_

Deaton walked into the room right before Lydia has the chance to answer it herself. Everyone quickly stood up and looked to him like he was the doctor who was there to tell them their friend died in surgery or something like in the shows. Everyone held their breaths as they anticipated bad news.

“He’s ok, I’ve injected him with more lichen to keep him stable for now, but it’s only a temporary fix,” Deaton said as everyone let go of the breath they’ve been holding for two hours.

But what is “ok”? Stiles isn’t “ok” and everyone knew that, but how long will it be till everyone is out of ideas? How long until Stiles is lost forever? Lydia tried her hardest not to overthink right now and just focus on the fact that it’s under control.

For now. 

“Is there anything else? Is he safe?” Scott asked with the most worry a single person could have in their voice. 

“They put him in a secluded area in the Eichen House supernatural wing that’s heavily guarded with mountain ash, as you are already aware of, so nothing can get in or out of there,” Deaton explained, “Unfortunately that means none of you can carry out the only plan that I think might work.”

Scott’s shoulders slumped at the news of not being able to help his best friend, but suddenly Deaton turned towards Lydia with a look in his eyes that screamed with determination.

“Lydia, I’m going to have to ask you to do this for me,” He said. In the span of two seconds all eyes were on Lydia as she frantically looked around to meet with the oh so desperate faces of her best friends. 

“What?” Seemed to be the only thing Lydia could manage to get out.

“With this breed of Void, we can’t try any of the things we did last time or we might end up making it worse, and there’s only one thing left we can try, and I need you to do it.” Deaton said with such authority it made Lydia feel like she was getting assigned a top secret mission. 

Lydia stood with her head spinning as the storm of emotions was going on inside of her. She couldn't possibly do this by herself, I mean, maybe, but probably not, right? Hell, she has enough confliction trying to decide which dress to buy she’s not ready to hold her best friend’s life in her hands. The reality of the situation was finally dawning on her as she came to a conclusion about one final thing:

This is no Nogitsune, there is no Oni, there is no Allison, and her friend is going to die. 

Lydia took a shaky breath in before meeting her eyes with Scott’s and saw the pain and desperation in his and felt compelled by her loyalty to the pack and to saving their friend to agree.

“Okay, I’ll do it, just tell me what I need to do,” Lydia said trying to sound as fearless as she could, which was nearly impossible.

“Good, this is more of a Hail Mary than a plan, but I’m going to need you to try your best; can you do that for me Lydia?” Deaton asked her noticing how extremely fucking nervous she was.

Lydia nodded as she couldn’t find it in herself to talk anymore. Deaton started addressing the rest of the group about what they needed to do as Lydia felt an enormous pit of anxiety form in her stomach. She looked everyone else, as Scott already had the look on his face he always had when he was just about to go into battle, with Kira was right beside him with the same look. They were always the perfect warrior couple who were always ready to face any danger that came their way. Lydia looked over to Malia who had her face plastered with worry, as they both made eye contact and Malia saw how scared Lydia was and Lydia saw how scared Malia was and Malia gave her a little nod that said “it’s gonna be fine.”

Lydia worried if Malia was hurt that she couldn’t save Stiles. She probably was, but in this situation you can’t worry about little things like that. You need to worry about whether or not you can save your friend from being fully possessed.

The pit in her stomach was growing with each thought, but Lydia put on her own warrior face and secretly wondered if this time she couldn’t do it and her friend would die.

And it would be all her fault.  
______________________________________________________________________________

_part 2: who’s gonna love you like me?_

The screaming was the worst part. 

It wasn't the emptying of the pockets or the creepy nurses or the eerie vastness of the place that gave off the 18th century manor vibe that bothered Lydia, no, it was the distant and hollowed out wails of the people trapped in Eichen House that absolutely terrified her.

Lydia had her hands balled into tight fists as she followed Dr. Fenris to the supernatural wing. She tried her best to block out all the noise but it seemed like an impossible task as her anxiety made everything a little bit more louder. 

She felt so stupid for being this worked up about the situation, but in her defense everybody was worked up. Nobody was this upset the first time it happened, but they also had Kira and the Oni and they actually knew what was possessing him.

Now all they have is Lydia and a Hail Mary.

“I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into,” Dr Fenris warned, “we’ve had to put him in a secluded area because he was causing the others to actually break down.”

Lydia swallowed hard. “And by ‘break down’ you mean…”, she asked, not really taking to mind if she actually wanted to know.

“I mean they went crazy, like absolutely crazy. Scratching themselves until they were all out of skin to scratch up.” He answered in the simplest tone as if they were having a normal conversation and not walking down a dark hallway filled with all the supernatural creatures you could ever think of. 

Lydia tightened her firsts even more so that her nails were digging into her palms. She saw Scott do it whenever he starts wolfing out in inconvenient situations and thought it might work. The red hot pain was what was keeping her from shaking uncontrollably and possible bursting into tears. 

The air was heavy with breaths of the forgotten creatures that were stuck here, it was almost suffocating. The menacing feeling of being watched was almost enough to send Lydia running for her life, but the glimpse she caught of a kanima in one cell reminded her of Jackson and how he would have told her to keep going, so she did. 

They reached the end of the hall and Lydia felt the nervous pit in her stomach grow to an uncontrollable size. An enormous steel door stood in front of them daring them to enter, it’s rusted hinges show years of neglect. Dr Fenris slid his key card through the slot covered in dust and entered a 20 digit password to unlock the door that looked like it’s only been used twice.

“As you can tell we usually don’t use this cell, but desperate times call for desperate measures,” Fenris stated. Lydia jumped as the door made a loud clang as it unlocked itself, she felt her hands start to shake and felt like she was drowning in the sensory overload.

The stares, the noises, the air, the everything of this damn place was getting to her. And she needed to get out, no, she _had_ to get out. _Now_.

The door screeched with resistance as it swung open, and the first thing Lydia noticed about the room was that it was dark as shit and really cold. She took a step in and felt the chilly air bite at her like a dog begging for your attention.

“I have to lock the door again just for safety reasons,” Fenris explained as Lydia had to draw her attention away from the presence of the room, “But don’t worry, if something goes wrong there's a button right her by the door that you can press and will send an alert to me.” He gestured to small red button sitting next to the door on the inside of the room. Lydia was panicked by the fact that her safety was put into the hands of a small button that looked like it hadn’t been used in about twenty years. 

“I’ll be back in about two hours as Deaton instructed me to be,” The doctor said as he closed the steel doors right in front of Lydia’s face, sealing her fate. The second the door closed, it got quiet. Not like it just lowered in volume, but like any noise whatsoever ceased to exist at all. Lydia couldn’t tell if it could actually be that quiet in one room or if it was her weird banshee hearing. She hoped it was the latter.

Lydia shivered at the cold draft, and took a mental note to bring a sweater next time. Even though she hoped and prayed there would never be a next time. Her eyes were having a hard time adjusting from the blinding lights of the institute to the inky blackness of the room, and saw that the only presence of light was a splash of moonlight bleeding in from a tiny window in the corner.

 _Shit, it’s night already? No, it can’t be, I mean it was only like three o’clock when Deaton told me to come here, or was it?_ Lydia thought. The whole place was making her question her sanity, and felt like she was on the verge of a panic attack.

Lydia shook her head as if to wipe out all the intrusive thoughts and questions that lead to nowhere and were only gonna freak her out even more than she already needed to be. She took a step forward into the room and wanted to spin around and bash the old red button until Dr. Fenris opened the door and took her away from the never-ending darkness the room held onto so tightly. 

But she didn’t, Lydia swallowed her fear and took another step into the room. The more she walked in the more the darkness swallowed her up, she worried she wouldn’t exist if she walked any further. It creeped up on her legs and snaked around them likes vines growing on an old brick house. Her heart sped up as she faced an enormous jail cell sitting on the side of the room, similar to the ones in the prison. Old fashioned jail bars were the only thing separating Lydia from someone who caused feared supernatural creatures to kill themselves. 

The darkness was inches away from eating her entire body and the cold nibbling away at her fingers and Lydia felt the most cut off from the living and felt like she just entered the land of the dead. And she started to miss the screaming.

A dark figure moved in the corner of the cell, and Lydia froze. The fear she swallowed earlier came back up her throat and escaped in one shaky word.

“Stiles?”

Lydia knew the answer, but she didn’t want to believe it. She wanted to believe Stiles was there and she could just grab his hand and run out of the hellish room and just go home. But nothing she had ever dealt with was ever that simple, no matter how badly she wanted it to be.

The silence in the room felt like it lasted for an hour, and Lydia could still feel the echo of her cry for her best friend vibrate in her bones, almost like it was taunting her to say it again. She could make out the shape of the figure, as it was sitting on the edge of what you might call a bed facing the corner of the room.

The figure lifted it’s head and chuckled. Lydia felt her heart stop altogether and the whole room shake. Or maybe it wasn’t the whole room, but just her. 

“I hate to disappoint, but your friend had to step out for a call,” The Void spoke with it’s usual notes of sarcasm. He stood up to only be engulfed by the darkness himself, making him invisible and a voice inside Lydia’s head. 

Lydia had never felt fear like this, it moved throughout her entire body like electricity. It made her throat close up and her limbs shut down. It made her beg for a swift death and pray to whoever was listening to tell her mother she loved her. It felt like something crawled inside of her and is using her body like a machine. With this overwhelming fear and the frostbite forming on her toes, Lydia felt like she was going to die.

“You know, I actually heard him beg for his life. It was quite entertaining, watching your little precious Stiles cry and beg like that. I wished I could’ve bottled up that moment and watched it over and over again.” 

The Void was no longer a person, but a ghost. His words bounced around the room and seemed to surround Lydia offering no escape. It sounded just like her friend, but it felt like the devil.

“He’s still in here you know, I can hear him. Like a child pounding against the glass screaming. I know everything he’s thinking.”

His words were drawn out in a manner where he wanted her to feel helpless. Lydia could hear the destruction in his voice. It could bring down entire cities if it wanted to, the apocalypse could be brought down upon the whole of humanity by the thing possessing Stiles. She heard his footsteps start to approach the bars of the cell. Lydia felt trapped in a nightmare, like the ones you had as a kid where the monster was chasing you but you couldn’t run no matter how hard you tried. His body was becoming visible with each step he took into the bleeding moonlight and she was frozen in place, waiting for the monster to catch up to her.

“He’s screaming one thing over and over again.”

Lydia felt like she was in a dream; the darkness, the cold. It couldn’t be real, this could not be real. If it was, she’s already dead. The monster was right behind her and she awaited it to swallow her whole.

He wasn’t a ghost anymore, he was a person now. The Void stepped into the moonlight and exposed himself as his true form. He wasn’t a voice lurking inside Lydia’s head or an echo you wish you couldn’t hear. He was a being, he was Lydia’s friend. There, standing in the dead of night, was Stiles. But it wasn’t him. People rave about the Four Horsemen bringing the end of the world, and Death was already here. In his eyes. And in his warning.

“Run, Lydia. Run.”

______________________________________________________________________________

_part 4: i don’t wanna hurt you but you live for the pain_

 

Nothing. Lydia felt nothing. 

She felt so much it turned into nothing. Like when the water is so hot it feels ice cold. From one thing to the polar opposite. Her heart was either beating so fast she couldn’t feel it or it stopped beating altogether. She was either shaking so much it became a numb blur or she just froze. 

Either she lived too fast, or died all at once.

The Void could see how he put the fear of God into her and he loved it. God, he loved it so much it was what gave an almost emotionless thing a rush of something. He chuckled like the devil would when he had a new prisoner. He might be the one on the side of the bars, but he had Lydia trapped. 

“What do you want..” Her small voice announced. It wasn’t much of a question, but more like something so dire it was demanded so the one they were demanding from couldn’t possibly ignore it. But it came out more like a small child instead of a threatening hunter, which was what Lydia was going for. Something inside of her stopped her from being the sarcastic and sassy character she always was in front of someone who thought they had authority over her. Something shoved her back into the person she hated being in these situations, Lydia didn’t know if it was The Void messing with her or herself.

“Oh, isn’t it obvious my darling,” he taunted. His words came out like a wolves grow; deep and threatening. He was leaning against the bars now, as if to show dominance over her. He’s the one you should fear, even though he’s on the other side of the wall. 

Lydia had no idea what was coming over her, but she started walking towards him. What she should have been doing was running away, away from him away from the room and away from Eichen House. But she no longer had control over her body. Her legs were moving without her having a say in which direction to go. 

Like a moth drawn to light, Lydia was drawn to Stiles. Something so deadly yet so beautiful you can’t help but want to be closer to it. She knew things created by the devil caused the most damage. 

But Lydia wanted nothing more than to be destroyed.

The Void could see how she was drawn into his path of death, and his eyes begged for her to follow. The Stiles boy screaming in his head wanted her to go back, but he also heard him beg for her to come closer. The Void could feel every ounce of want coarse through his fingers like poison spreading. It stemmed from the Stiles boy’s own desires, he felt his want for the Lydia girl which had been sitting in the deepest corners of his mind for a long time, years even. The want feeling was seeping into The Void’s mind like black ink through a piece of paper, staining every last inch. He let it run until it consumed him, like the darkness he had been stuck in for hours.

Lydia followed her magnetic attraction to him until she was against the jail bars herself, inches from his face. She could feel the heavy breaths coming from him now and could even feel the poison inside of him escape through his low breaths. 

“I want you.” He breathed the words as if a hungry wolf spotting a helpless rabbit in the cold dead winter, and he needed to feed.

The Void seemed to vanish into thin air, leaving Lydia breathless and back to reality of the dark cold room. She could feel him in the air, but didn’t know where to look. He was only a vibration in the wind, and feeling of eyes on your back.

“I’m not like the other Void you experienced,” he was a menacing voice in the empty room, Lydia tried to pinpoint his location but only found a voice.

“I’m not a spirit built from vengeance, and I don’t feed off of chaos. I feed off of something that lives in the deepest bits of your mind that some try to repress and others express freely.” 

Lydia felt his voice move from every corner to the room, bouncing from one side to the other and back again, like a game of catch me if you can. 

“Lust.” The word was a heavy whisper in a dead world. 

“I feed from desire, the cravings you get to be with someone, the longing for their skin on top of yours, the appetite for another.”

The Void appeared again from the dark corner of the cell, like he just materialized from the darkness, or was created from it. He was pacing back and forth as to toy with his prey before pouncing on it and ripping it’s throat out.

“That’s why it was so easy to get inside your little Stiles, he had so much desire in him he tried to push it away, and that’s when it becomes really noticeable.” The Void was still a voice, but he had a host body. He wasn’t a person who spoke, he was the voice itself that just happened to have a body. He was what desire is made from.

“And when my little Nogitsune brother was recently with him, he forgot to close the door. And that’s when I came in.”

He was approaching Lydia this time, a lion in a cage trying to claw at the one holding it captive. Except Lydia didn’t back away, she didn’t move away from her spot at the very edge of the bars; the cliff between the sun and the moon, evil and good. He kept prying his eyes of fire into hers of ice, daring her to melt. Lydia tried to keep her composure, but she was slipping in the hand of Lust himself. 

“You see, Stiles was with Malia, but he wanted to be with you. But he couldn't handle that much desire, and it destroyed him.”

He was right in front of her, every breath he took sending flames into Lydia’s face. He breathed like a hungry dragon, full of fire and purpose. He wanted control over Lydia and he was so close to having it, so close to her melting in his hands. 

“Can you imagine that? Lust for two different people at the same time, it must be so overwhelming. Of course, one always wins.” 

Lydia could feel herself giving in; giving into the darkness in the room that she once resented and allowing it to entangle her and drag her to the ground. She gave into the icy-hot temperature of the room, the frostbite on her toes and the coals burning her hands. She looked into The Void’s eyes and saw pure red and wanted to be burned. God, she wanted to be burned.

She tore away from his eyes and snapped out of her trance. She let her hands freeze over and kick off the darkness around her ankles. This is crazy and she knew it, it wasn’t what she was meant to do and she got caught dancing with the devil and started to trip over her own feet.

“Stop, whatever you’re doing stop it!” She screeched. The part of her that fought for her sanity was back and wanted to keep what remaining scraps of it was left. The Void laughed, a deep laugh that mocked her for fighting back. He was laughing like he was an adult laughing at how adorable a child is when they get angry. 

“Oh, but I’m not doing anything, It’s all you sweetheart. I don’t make you do anything, I just help you unlock what’s already living inside you.”

Lydia could feel herself losing it, she was losing the remaining bits she had left of herself. She was becoming putty in his hands, and she couldn’t let that happen.

“No, no, you’re locked up because you made people go crazy, you made them hurt themselves,” Lydia fought back. She desperately tried to fight his logic, and was trying to fight her own desire bubbling up.

The Void smirked, “Ah, yeah that I did do. Those creatures were so filthy, they had nothing inside them. I tried to search for it, but all I found was lust for either human flesh or any other disgusting cravings they had. That’s one of the talents all spirits have, we can control.”

Lydia could feel herself start to shake again, the fear was welling up inside her and she tried her hardest not to let The Void see, to see that without him near she starts to fall apart.

“Of course, like I said I can’t control your own desire. I can, however, control your mind.” The Void said like a threat. He could creep his way into Lydia’s mind and snake around it poking and prodding and making her feel like she’s no longer in control. But he didn’t want to do that, yet.

“You can’t do anything to me, because you’re in there and I’m out here.” Lydia tried to sound intimidating but instead she sounded like she was frantically searching for reason to convince herself she’s not seconds away from being destroyed. But she was frantically searching and The Void could see it and and was loving every second of it. 

He chuckled, “But are you really?”

In the second that Lydia blinked, she suddenly went from trying to escape the grips of the darkness to being fully emerged into it’s hands. For a second she thought she died, that The Void got inside her and shut down everything she had left and burnt her to ashes. She noticed the jail bars and how she was on the wrong side of them. She could see where she was previously standing and the door with the old red button next to it she wished she got to before. It dawned on her that she was now in the cell. 

With him. 

And Lydia wished he killed her instead.

She was inside the cage with the lion and she knew it was just itching to rip her to shreds. The frostbite returned and this time covered her whole body, she felt the shaking pulse through her body and realized she was the shivering like a helpless animal that was going to be eaten. 

Lydia tried to shake the hallucination out of her head. This had to be the same thing the Nogitsune did when it made her believe she was in the snowing garden. There is no way this is real. 

“Oh no darling, this is real.” He read her mind, he was inside her head and could feel every vibration of every thought and emotion snake through his body. He felt everything she felt, and even more. 

Lydia was slipping into a blinding panic and felt her knees wobble and her breath slow and inhaling the imaginary water she was choking on. The coldness inside of her was overwhelming and was starting to freeze her into a block of ice. She felt everything inside her end. But only for a second.

Lydia dug her nails into her palms again and felt herself start to surface again, she forced the breath back into her lungs and stability back into her legs and blood back into her veins. The frostbite stayed in her toes and fingers, but she could live with that. She stumbled to the edge of the cell and desperately grasped the bars almost hoping that they would pry if she pushed hard enough. 

“I can feel everything you feel right now, Lydia.” She heard the voice approaching behind her but didn’t want to believe it was there. She tried to block out the footsteps approaching and the fear she felt settle in her stomach again.

“You don’t need to be scared.” Ironically, she felt nothing else but fear. She cursed Deaton and Scott and Kira and Malia and everyone she could think of for putting her in this situation. She cursed Stiles especially for being such an idiot and letting his feelings invite this monster in. 

“I’m not here to hurt you.” The voice was right behind her and she could feel the heat coming off of him. Lydia felt herself melting and didn’t know if she feared her death or the unravel of herself.

He was right there. His fingers moved back her hair to breath in her neck, as if inhale the scent of desire and lust itself. The déjà vu Lydia was experiencing was crazy, there she was, leaned up against the bars desperately trying to block out the monster behind her, just like in the tunnels underneath Oak Creek. The fear was the same, biting and overpowering and begging for your attention. She was freezing over again and her trembling fingers couldn’t be hidden this time.

The Void moved closer to her ear, causing Lydia to scrunch up her face in anticipation of him slashing her throat and tearing her apart until she doesn’t exist anymore. She braced herself for the pain and took one last breath in.

“I don’t wanna hurt you, Lydia,” He whispered, “but I know you live for the pain.”

Stiles kissed her neck and she let go. Lydia melted into pure water and the ice that had lived in her was reduced to nothing. The frostbite in her toes vanished like it never even existed. Everything freezing was replaced with red hot burning. The kisses he gave left a trail of heat that sizzled her skin and seeped deep into her skin and coursed throughout her entire body. She ceased to exist, she was nothing but the darkness she let in and the pure appetite for more.

She turned around to face Lust himself and look him in the eyes. She stared in The Void, and he stared right back, and they loved it. She stared at him in shock of herself and how she managed to unravel after fighting so hard not to. 

“Stiles, he’s here you know. He’s been wanting this for years. I can hear him and he’s begging for you.”

Lydia stared into his eyes and wanted to believe him, but after everything the other Void did it’s hard to believe anything that comes out of their mouths.

“How can I trust you to know that for sure..” Lydia whispered wanting him to prove it to be true.

“He remembers how you kissed him for the first time,” Lust answered as he lightly traced his fingers up her arm, “he wants to return the favor.”

“And I’m supposed to believe you..” Lydia asked again with a dire tone that begged for him to be right. Their faces were so close she could feel the poison in his breath and the destruction in his arms and Lydia wanted to be ruined. 

“Don’t believe me, believe Stiles, believe the way he would kiss you after wanting to for years.”

His grabbed ahold of her face and he kissed her like his life depended on it. He felt Stiles overwhelmed with desire in his mind and it only fueled him even more to release all the years of built up cravings for Lydia and ruin her in the best way possible. He felt Stiles awaken after years of sleeping, the real Stiles, the one that wants Lydia in every way possible. 

Lydia was all in at this point and there was no resentment left in her mind for the cold or the dark or herself. She felt every living thing, anything that ever was and everything that is. She kissed back and felt the destruction eat it’s way through his lips into hers and into her mind. She felt the heat of the sun in Stiles and wanted to be burnt up, she felt the deep dark coals of the fire start up in her stomach and wanted to be on fire.

Stiles seized the back of her head and tapped into her mind and sent vibrations of pure desire into her spine, he felt her ice mix with his fire to create the most beautiful ending. He wanted Lydia to end, he wanted to see her unravel and fall apart in the midst of his fingers. He could feel Stiles in his mind falling apart with her. 

He pulled away to feel Lydia die in his arms, and took the time to catch his breath and leave love bites on her neck. He was a vampire but craved the pain that lust caused instead of blood. He fed off of the desire that was sending her into the end of her days. 

Lydia closed her eyes and felt everything. She felt the frostbite in her toes return but this time it mixed with his fire and created a pain that made her flinch and left her wanting more. She grabbed the back of his head and tugged on his hair, trying to pull the Stiles out of him. The real Stiles, the one who she kissed in the locker room and secretly wanted to do it again and again until she couldn’t take it anymore. With each kiss The Void left she felt herself sink into the floor and pool around it until she was nothing but something that could evaporate in a second. 

Stiles grabbed her by her waist and picked her up, and Lydia didn’t fight it. She was attached to something that was killing her. She couldn’t help herself, he was a cancer that was settling in her lungs and she tried to fight it but was so tired and just gave in. Lydia kissed him trying to suck as much love he had out of him and into her. She was inhaling the fumes he had until it made her brain foggy and she lost her balance.

He carried her to the bed and she could tell where this was going and didn’t try to stop it. She was a star that was exploding and she felt herself die and be reborn at the same time. A mass destruction of life itself to create a billion different galaxies. Galaxies were being born everywhere in Lydia; in her eyes, her hips, her mouth, Stiles was killing her and then resurrecting her and then killing her all over again and did it as many times as he wanted to. 

Lydia could feel it, it was Stiles. She felt Stiles, the real one she wanted, become in The Void. She could tell by his touch and she felt safe dying.

“Stiles…” She breathed, almost asking if it was really him. Half of her wanted the full Stiles, but the other half of her wanted The Void who made her feel like a rose blooming in the dead of winter. She wanted the light and dark at the same time, the devil and God in one person.

“Lydia…” He breathed in her ear. It was him. She felt his soul and self in the way he spoke almost like he couldn’t believe he was there himself. But at the same time, Lydia felt The Void. And she loved it.

It was fire and ice mixing, two things that were never meant to be together combining the best way possible. One couldn’t live without the other, the fire would become too powerful without the ice and it would end up burning down the earth in a horrible flame. The ice needed the fire to stop from freezing into a vast world of nothingness and absolute silence. They needed each other so badly, it hurt. 

He was right, about what he said earlier. Lydia lived for the pain. She lived for the way it stung her like an angry wasp and how it made her hands shake in the best way possible. She lived for the fire boiling her skin off and the cold freezing arms until she couldn’t move. She lived for the darkness that engulfed the both of them and how it whispered in her ear sweet nothings. She lived for the moonlight seeping in from the window and shining on Stiles’ face, exposing his eyes that were filled with pain.

Deaton instructed her carefully that she needed to bring Stiles back; that he needed to be drawn out by someone he had a connection with. She hoped she was bringing him back, but this wasn’t what she had in mind. She thought she would walk in and talk him out of it, but things turned out to take a different direction. 

Lydia knew the second she walked in the room, the second she felt the gust of freezing cold air hit her and the darkness start to work it’s way into her mind, that it was all over.

It was what she became that she was scared of in the beginning, she was scared of being loved in a way that made her die.

But she lived for the pain.

______________________________________________________________________________

part 5: i'm not tryna say it but it's what you became

Lydia was awoken by the bitter cold.  
She cracked open her eyes to see the moonlight almost fully immersing the room. There was only a wisp of darkness hiding in the deep corner of the room, desperately clinging on to it’s last bits of life before the moonlight banished it. Lydia felt herself shiver in the presence of the uninvited cold, and tried to piece together where she was and why she felt like a supernova. 

All the events of the last hour or so came flooding back to her in an overwhelming wave she almost drowned in. The frostbite, the fire, the death of herself and the resurrection of a new one. She shot up in a panic with her head swarming with alarm and the need to feel like herself again. Lydia saw a figure standing in the corner of the cell, wallowing in the last bits of darkness, hiding. The feeling of being a mouse trapped in a lion’s cage returned and with it came the shaking, but the frostbite stayed mixed with heat. Her heart was caught in her throat and she was choking on it. 

“Stop being so scared all time, God I thought we already got past that.” He spoke with a twinge of annoyance in his voice. He turned to embrace the moonlight but still had a wandering vine of darkness attached to him. His face glistened in the worst way that made Lydia want it to be close to him all over again. 

As if he read her mind, suddenly he was inches away from her. It’s like he didn’t even move, he was in the corner of the cell and in the next second he was right in front of her. He moved like a blur, one place to another without you even seeing it. 

“That’s better,” He mumbled. Lydia took in a breath that wavered and showed how overwhelmed with lust she was and how bad she needed to be close to him. He sat down on the edge of the bed next to her and she could feel the radiating warmth steaming off of him, and wanted to be suffocated in it so badly, but she held on to the last remaining bit of self control she had in her. 

“You know there’s no problem in giving in,” he moaned in her ear, “you did and I felt how much you loved it.”

She hated the fact that he was right and wanted to punch the wall or him or just anything to release her anger. The Void felt how angry she was and it only made him more insatiable. 

He pressed his lips ever so softly against Lydia’s neck, sending waves of venom throughout her whole body. His destruction caused her to lean her head back and close her eyes, signing for more. He had no problem giving it to her, he enjoyed seeing her melt into absolutely nothing. He loved watching her squirm under his control and how she started to fall apart whenever she looked in his eyes. 

Lydia snapped out of her state of bliss and quickly stood up. She knew she had to leave, she needed to get back to Scott and everyone else and tell them he’s ok, or she hopes he is. But God does she want to stay, she wants to stay with him and let him poison her to death, she wants him to crush her until she’s nothing but dust. She wants to die again.

“I should, um,” she stuttered, “I need to leave.”

She was up against the bars of the cell facing The Void, and this time she wasn’t scared. This time, she wanted him to come closer to her.

“What a shame,” he chuckled, “Stiles and I are really gonna miss you.”

He stood up and and slowly made his way to her again. With every step he took Lydia felt an earthquake beneath her, he was the massacre of thousands on walking legs.

“I know I’ll see you again, you can convince yourself all you want you’re never coming back here, but you’ll be back.” He almost was daring her not to come back ever, daring her to not fall apart without him. But she knew she was going to be back. How could she ever survive without him?

This wasn’t her, Lydia never felt like her whole existence lied in the hands of another. She always felt like putting your feelings and entire life in one person is setting yourself up for destruction. Like a ticking time bomb ready to go off at any second. This wasn’t her and she was terrified that either The Void was doing this to her or it’s how she felt all along.

“What are you doing to me?” Lydia asked in desperation. She needed to hear him say that he was toying with her and it wasn’t actually her falling for death itself.

He did that thing again where he moved from one place to another without you even seeing it, a hazy blur that made you fear if he was even real. His nose was so close to hers she wanted to reach out and feel his face to make sure he wasn’t a dream sequence.

He laughed in a deep growl that set the hairs on Lydia’s neck straight up. “I’m not doing anything.” Lydia knew what was coming next and feared it but at the same time embraced it.

“It’s all you.”

He moved in to close the agonizing space between them and left the softest kiss on her just the edge of her lips. Just lightly enough to seal her fate and to drive her crazy for needing more that she wants to rip off her skin.

Lydia closed her eyes and felt the air around her change, it went from a never ending abyss to a comforting afterlife she wanted to live in forever. The kiss seemed to send a final rush of whatever poison The Void had into her veins to fully possess her. She didn’t have blood in her veins anymore, but an inky black venom that refused to leave. 

When she opened her eyes she found herself back in the position where she started. She was looking into the cell now but Stiles was nowhere to be found. He was a ghost again, and Lydia was really scared that he never really existed in the first place. 

“I’ll see you later,” his voice startled Lydia causing her to jump. She saw him leaning against the bars like when she first walked in here, and oddly enough, she wished to be in there with him again.

“Yeah, later.” She couldn’t lie, she knew she would be back, she just didn't want to believe it. 

Lydia slowly turned around and walked toward the old steel door and laid eyes on the rusted, old red button. She raised her hand to press it, but hesitated. She really wanted to run back to Stiles and beg for him to ruin her all over again and stay there until the sun came up. But she wouldn’t allow herself to be that weak, no matter how much he got inside her head.

Reluctantly, she pressed the button and heard a faint buzz. It had to be only about thirty seconds before the door swung open and Dr. Fenris was standing in the doorway. Lydia squinted at the blinding lights the outside had. Being in the room was like being emerged in a dark cave only to be rescued five years later. The light burned her skin in a way that made her hate all light and she just wanted to crawl back into the darkness and let it seep into her and wrap itself around her body and bury her.

Lydia took a step out of the room and immediately felt ten degrees warmer, but she missed the way the cold nibbled away at her fingers. She missed the way Stiles burned her alive.

“Yeah I don’t blame you for wanting to get out of there, he’s a real creep,” Dr. Fenris laughed. “I’m surprised you managed to last for an hour and a half, hell I would’ve been out of there in thirty minutes.”

She had only been in there for an hour and a half? It felt like a whole eternity to Lydia. An eternity spent in Hell where she was the Queen. 

The rest of the walk back was spent in silence. In the beginning, Lydia feared the monster that nestled its way into her friend's mind, but now she feared herself. She feared that the venom inside her would take over her mind and she would become exactly like The Void. She didn’t want to be pure desire, she didn’t want to be a villain, even though she just fell in love with one.

The screaming of the patients weren’t so bad now, they were like a white noise to her. A dull ache she just ignored, and it terrified her. The second Lydia got her belongings back from the creep guy at the front desk she immediately checked the time, she had to know it was still night and Stiles didn’t trick her into staying with him by giving her artificial darkness. 

Her clock read 1:06 AM and she breathed a long awaited sigh of relief. She saw the sixteen missed calls from Scott and five texts that all read variations of “are you ok?” “ are you done yet?” “ text me when it’s over” and Lydia spent no time confirming her safety and wellbeing to her friend. She didn’t know if it was lying to tell him she was ok, because she wasn’t. She was destroyed and she had no idea how to put herself back together again.

She walked out of the facility and took a deep breath in, inhaling the air as if hoping it would wash away all the toxic fumes she just inhaled. She needed a cleansing and didn’t know how to get it, and for a split second though running back in and up all those stairs and breaking into the room and being with him again would make all the pain go away. But Lydia knew it would just kill her for good. 

Her chest heaved with how cold the night was, and she turned around to see that tiny window at the very tippy top of Eichen House and how the moon was only focused on shining in there and nowhere else. She saw a shadow move, and spun back around and to her car before she started lingering on the ghost that lived there. She hoped it was enough to save Stiles, she hoped he wasn’t gone for good, and she hoped the itching in her skin would go away soon. Lydia just hoped for a lot of things. 

But she really just hoped she could die again.


End file.
